Divergent - Tris and Four
by PrincessDreamGirl
Summary: Divergent story, if Four was the same age as Tris.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

_I turn away, I want no mirror,_

_I think I see, without it clearer,_

Quickly I turn away from the mirror, but it's too late. I already looked and I can't take back what I've seen now.

My reflection shocks me in a way and scares me more than anything else. I think it's because I can't quite believe what the mirror is showing me. To my friends and family it wouldn't be unfamiliar, but to me it is.

I see a narrow face, wide round eyes and a long, thin nose – I still look like a little girl – although I don't feel it. I can't help but think that the mirror is lying to me. It doesn't show who I am at all. I look ordinary and plain, though I feel far from it. I always had the feeling that deep down inside of me, I was different, but I guess everyone feels like that.

Once my mother finishes cutting my hair she ties it up in a clean bun customary for my fraction.

"There" she smiles at me shutting the mirror.

I make no comment, except to look down at the floor. That's what we are meant to do at Abnegation. We are selfless.

"Are you nervous?" my mother asks.

"No" I say calmly, although I really want to tell her that I am. I want to hold her and hug her and tell her how scared and afraid I really am.

Today is the day of the aptitude test that will show me which of the five factions I belong in. And tomorrow, at the Choosing Ceremony, I decide on a fraction where I will spend the rest of my life. I can't help but feel how stupid the whole thing is. That a few days ago we had to ask permission to go to the bathroom during class and now suddenly we are choosing our own destiny.

It's there way of making us chose between ourselves and our families.

On the way to school, I get on the bus and cringe. It's hot and smelly and it doesn't help that the bus drive takes corners to sharp. I clutch on tightly to the seat and look out the window.

My older brother Caleb, stands in the aisle. Not that anyone would be able to tell that we are siblings. We look nothing alike, he has dark hair unlike my blonde and he looks a lot more like my father. Yet he also inherited my mother's talent for selflessness, giving up his seat to a Candor man on the bus without any thought. Their faction values honest and sees morals as absolute black and whites. Yet it angers me that the man takes the seat. Does he not believe in equality? Does he think he's better than us?

Personally I'm just glad that they can't read minds, because I think I would be kicked out of Abnegation for even thinking that.

The bus stops at the school and I get up, holding onto my brothers arm as I stumble past the Candor man resisting the urge to kick him. The school is a large building made of steel and glass. I don't talk to my brother at all as I enter the school. I'm too nervous, I can feel my heart thumping in my chest and my hands shaking already. I know this is the last day that I walk these halls.

The hallways are cramped and are one of the only places that kids our age are allowed to mix.

As I collect my things and walk to chemistry an Erudite boy in a blue sweater knocks me.

"Out of my way Stiff" he snaps.

His friend laughs and tries to trip me. I almost manage to keep my balance but then don't. I fall hard on the ground and my face scrapes the concreate floor. Suddenly I can feel a stinging graze on my face. Instinctively I raise my hand to my face and can see the blood. My hands have been grazed too.

I look around. My brother is nowhere to be seen. He must have gone to class already. I feel my cheeks burn even more as the boys stop and laugh at me.

I don't get up. I know if I do they will just push me back down again. Instead I stay on the floor and let them laugh. If I were strong enough, I would fight back, I would speak up and say something but I know that would only make them taunt me more. Besides I'm Abnegation, I'm supposed to be selfless.

This sort of thing has been happening a lot to people in my fraction. Ever since Erudite has been releasing demeaning reports about Abnegation, and people always listen to them.

Funnily enough the grey clothes, the plain hairstyle and the uniformity of our fraction which is supposed to make it easy for us to forget ourselves and for others to forget us too. But it doesn't work. Instead it makes us a target.

"Don't listen to them" It's a skinny boy with dark blue eyes and long eyelashes.

He holds out his hand to help me up. I didn't expect that. Nobody ever does anything nice to me like that. Ever.

He is also Abnegation. It takes me a moment before I recognise him as Markus's son Tobias. He's normally shy and likes to keep to himself - even more than the usual Abnegation. He's the same age as me but I wonder how I missed him for so long and I suddenly am kicking myself for not getting to know him sooner. After the Choosing Ceremony, it may be too late.

Both of us pull our hands apart very quickly. I guess that's why they call us stiffs. Because we don't like physical contact with anyone.

I don't even bother to dust down my clothes. They are already grey after all. Instead I smile. Walking towards chemistry together, I pause by the window on the E wing and so does Tobias.

I wait for the Dauntless to arrive every morning at exactly 7:25. They prove their bravery by jumping from a moving train. Only Dauntless ride trains.

My father calls them "hellions" as they are pieced tattooed and black clothed. There main job is to guard the fence around the city. From what, I have no idea. They should perplex me. I should wonder what courage has to do with sticking metal rings through your body. Instead my eyes cling to them and I can't help but think how cool they really look and how I might like to be one.

The whistle blares, as the dauntless continue to jump out of trains, hurling themselves into the school as if they were having the best time in the world. They never hang around before or after school much. I guess that's why I like them, because they don't have time to bully us as much as the other factions. There too busy climbing up roofs and scaling heights.

Watching them is foolish but I can't take my eye off the glee in their eyes as they run.

"They always look like they're having fun" I say, "and they always seem much older than us. I guess because they know how to protect themselves".

This seems to interest Tobias as if he'd never really thought about it before.

"Yes they look as if they'd be able to fight anyone off" He says almost as if he's not speaking to me.

"Bye Tobias" I smile before I enter chemistry lab.

"Good Luck" he replies, and I know he's not talking about chemistry. I know he's talking about the aptitude test this afternoon.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

_I don't want people inside my head,_

_They might not like the things I've said,_

_And if people see the real me, _

_There's no one else I can pretend to be,_

After lunch the test begins. I sit at a long table at the cafeteria waiting with the rest of Abnegation. Nervously I look around, I can see my brother talking to Susan. A young girl with pretty dark curls. In another life I could say that she was Caleb's girlfriend. But she's not. Caleb is too selfless to have a girlfriend at the moment. But I can definitely imagine that in a few years they might end up courting. I can see them living in a little house on the edge of town. I can see them raising their own children happily and selflessly.

It's only too bad that I can't see myself living happily there too.

In the distance my eye catch's Tobias. Surprisingly he looks almost as nervous and white faced as me. The rules say that we can't prepare for the test in any way. He's watching the Dauntless born. I look across, they are playing cards and loudly talking to one another. Every few minutes I hear a roar of laughter from them. Like they are having the best and most enjoyable time in the world and I have to fight off the strange urge I have to run over there and join them. But I don't. I'm abnegation. Instead I must sit quietly and selflessly pretending that I don't exist.

Every now and then a name is called forward from the group for testing.

Caleb is the first of us to go. I don't need to hold his hand or wish him luck as his name is read. He looks comfortable and collected like he knows where he belongs and as far as I am concerned he always had. He never had any difficulty trying to fit in. It's easy for him. I just wish it would be as easy for me.

Before too long, I'm called. I stand up, not because I want to but because I'm meant to and begin to walk towards the testing rooms. On the way I pass Tobias. He isn't looking at me but I can tell he is watching. I don't know why but I almost want him to say something encouraging to me. I want him to tell me not to be afraid. He doesn't. Instead I wipe my hands nervously on my grey sweater and do the best to ignore my shaking hands.

The rooms are mirrors not glass, which only makes me feel worse, I watch myself pale and terrified walk towards my fate. Inside the room I see a young Dauntless lady wearing a black blazer and dark jeans. As she comes closer I can see a bold tattoo on the back of her neck, a hawk and I desperately want to ask her what it symbolizes, but I can't ignore my reflection I see myself reflected in every direction that I look. But then I remember why I'm here, and my figure doesn't scare me. I'm more worried about where I'm going to end up.

Instead I sit into the reclining chair and look apprehensively at the instruments she has laid out.

"It doesn't hurt" she said automatically as if she could read my mind.

"What are those for?" I ask looking down at the wires.

"They help me to see inside your mind" she replied looking curiously down at me with her large dark eyelashes.

"You can read my mind?" I asked suddenly beginning to panic. I don't won't anyone to look inside my mind. I know I'm already crazy enough, I don't need other people telling me too.

"Not quite" she replied writing on her clipboard, "I will be able to watch your response to certain situations"

"Oh" I replied nodding suddenly feeling much better.

"Drink this" she said holding out a strange conical cup with a clear liquid. I'm apprehensive but I know that I will have to follow her orders anyway.

I swallow mindlessly and within seconds I can feel myself become drowsy. Despite how hard I try to keep my eyes open they slip shut.

When my eyes open I'm somewhere else, a hall of mirrors that I don't recognise which makes the room appear larger than it actually is. In front of me appears a long silver knife and a square of cheese.

"Choose" a loud voice says.

Instinctively I look around for the voice, but I see no one.

"Choose" the voice repeats louder and more aggressively.

It angers me. "Tell me why, what will I need it for?"

"Choose!" She screams this time.

I'm not trying to be a rebel, but I refuse. I've always hated when people yell at me.

"Have it your way" the voice says coolly.

The items disappear and I hear a bark behind me. It's a dog. But not any dog a large dog with a pointed nose and sharp teeth that is now growling at me. It crouches low, its lips peeling back from its white teeth and suddenly I wish I'd taken the cheese or the knife. Anything would be better than being unarmed.

My instinct tells me to run, but there is nowhere to go. Instead I try to think logically. I can't run or try and fight it. Either way it will be too strong. The only thing to do is to be submissive. I lie down on the ground and don't look it in the eye. It's the best option I have. It's the only option I have. It comes closer still growling. The dog creeps closer until I can feel its warm breath on my face.

I brace myself and want to scream. Something rough and wet touches my check. I can't hear the dog barking anymore and when I turn to look I can't quite believe what I see. It's licking my neck. I almost laugh as it begins to lick my check.

Scratching him behind the ear I ask "You're not such a bad dog after all? Are you huh?"

It only licks back. I'm starting to wish I could adopt this dog and suddenly I'm extremely grateful that I didn't pick the knife.

I shut my eyes for less than a second and when I open them I see a young girl in a white dress come to me.

She stretches out both arms "puppy" she squeals making the room echo. She runs towards the dog.

"Don't come any closer!" I yell. But it's too late. Suddenly the dog is pouncing towards her. Its hair sticks up in all directions and I don't even give myself time to think about what to do. I do the only thing I can. I tackle the dog to the ground waiting for it to bite me instead.

Surprisingly though the pain never comes. I feel myself sprawled out on the ground but when I look up the girl and the dog have both gone. Instead it's just me in the hall of mirrors and suddenly I'm not sure what I prefer. I'm not sure if I want to be alone in this place. There is something eerie about it and the scared girl staring at me looks unfamiliar.

To my left I see a mirror, but it's not just a mirror. There's something strange about it. Something that I can't quite put my finger on. Once I walk up to it I realise what it is. I take a step back. There's no reflection in this mirror.

Then it hits me. It's not a mirror. It's nothing. I walk through hesitantly. I don't know where it goes, but it's the only way out and to stay any longer looking at myself would be madness.

Stepping out of the room. I find myself on a bus. All the seats are taken so I stand in the aisle and hold onto a pole. Sitting in front of me is a man with a newspaper. I can't see his face, but his hands scare me. They are stretched and burnt. Burnt badly and blotched red as if not human at all.

Clenching angrily to the newspaper, "Do you know this man?" he asks me angrily.

I look down at the newspaper. The headline reads 'Brutal Murderer Finally Apprehended'. There is a photo too. A man with dark brown hair and sideburns. For some reason I do recognise him and the more I look at him the more I'm convinced that I do know him. I just can't place him. Almost like he is from some other life.

"WELL!" I hear the anger fill his voice. "DO YOU?"

Suddenly I can't help but think how much of a bad idea it would be to tell him that I do. Instead I clutch onto the pole tighter and try to stop my heart beating so fast in my chest.

"No" I reply weakly in my best casual voice.

Finally the man pulls down the newspaper. Seeing his face scares me even more. His face is burnt too. Maliciously deformed and snarling. He stands up closer to me.

I can smell the tobacco and alcohol on his breath.

He's not real I remind myself closing my eyes.

"Don't lie to me!" he spits.

"I'm not" I repeat in the best confidence I can muster. I don't take a step back though I want to.

"You could save me" he says, almost begging. But it's too late, I'm already upset about the way he spat at me.

"I have no idea who he is" I repeat narrowing my eyes and getting off the bus at the next stop.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

_Take me to another place,_

_I need more room, I need more space,_

_The people here make fun of me, _

_And it feels like infinity,_

I wake to sweaty palms and a pang of guilt in my chest. For some reason I cannot get the image of the man's face and burned hands from my mind. Feeling panicked I turn around and see Tori, waiting for her to reassure me that everything is okay and that it's all over.

She doesn't. Instead she pinch's her lips together and removes the electrode from my head.

"That" she says, "was perplexing. Excuse me I'll be right back"

Perplexing? I think, suddenly feeling very worried. Is there something wrong with me? Can she tell how much of an awful person I am? Is it possible to fail the test? And I'm suddenly wishing that I had studied harder, even though you can't study for the test.

After she leaves the room I bring my knees up and bury my head in them. I feel like I want to cry, but I can't – I want some way to release how I'm feeling. I almost want to punch something, which I can't help feel is a strange feeling for an abnegation girl.

Instead I wipe my hands on my pants and take hold of my ankles. Closing my eyes I pray that god will look after me and I pray that everything will work out okay and I wonder why he let this happen to me. As the moments pass I get more nervous. What if I've failed so badly that they just throw me out on the streets? What if they make me become factionless? What then?

It's one thing to live in poverty and discomfort. But it's entirely something else to live divorced from society. Alone without anyone. It's something even the stiff abnegation don't want.

My mother told me once that we can't survive on our own, but even if we could we wouldn't want to. That's the best part of living; being able to share our lives with other people.

Finally the door opens. Tori walks back in. I grip the arm of the chair so tightly that she must notice because she tries her best to reassure me.

"Sorry to worry you" she says standing by me with her hands in her pockets. "Your test was inconclusive"

"Typically each stage of the simulation is supposed to eliminate one or more of the fractions from your final result. But in your case only two have been ruled out".

I stare at her and my mouth drops, "Two?" I manage to choke out ignoring how tight my breath is suddenly feeling.

Tori nods. "Yes you didn't show an automatic distaste for the knife hence Amity is out of the question." She continues to scratch her head, "The next choices you made didn't even allow candor. So I had to alter the simulation at the end to put you on the bus. Your dishonesty instantly ruled candor out as a possible faction".

I gulped thinking again about that man on the bus.

"Don't worry" smiled Tori, "Only Candor ever tell that man the truth"

I nodded. Maybe I wasn't such an awful person after all.

"But it still gives us a problem. You didn't run from the dog, suggesting dauntless. Yet at the same time you jumped in front of the little girl suggesting Abnegation. Additionally your response to the dog also suggested strong Erudite traits."

"Wait?" I interrupt her, "So you have no idea what my aptitude is?"

"Yes and no. My conclusion" she explains, "Is that you show equal aptitude for Abnegation, Dauntless and Erudite. People who get this kind of result are…" She looks over her shoulder expecting someone to be there. "They're called Divergent" she whispers the last word so quietly that I'm not even sure that I heard her correctly.

"Divergent?" I repeat louder.

"Shhh…" she covers her hands over my mouth, leaning closer. "Beatrice, under no circumstances should you share this information with anyone" she looks as me so determined that it makes me shiver.

"I know, we aren't supposed to share our result"

"No" she replies leaning down even closer now towards me. "I don't mean that you shouldn't share them now. I mean that you shouldn't share them ever. No matter what happens. Divergence is extremely dangerous do you understand me?"

I force out a nod, but in fact I don't understand at all. How would an inconclusive result be that dangerous?

"Sure" I stand up from the chair and steady myself against the armrest.

"I suggest that you go home. You have a lot of thinking to do. More than the rest, and I doubt that waiting with the others any longer will help you to decide any better."

"But I have to tell my brother where I'm going"

She nods, "don't worry. I'll let him know".

I touch my forehead and stare at the floor as I walk out of the room. I can't bear to look at anyone in the eye. I can't bear to think about the choosing ceremony tomorrow. All I can thinking about is that one word over and over again.

I'm Divergent.

As I manage to get outside without being seen, I decide not to take the bus, it reminds me too much of that man with the scars and besides, if I get home too early my father will ask questions and then I'll have to explain what happened. I'm really not a candor at all.

I walk in the middle of the road following the double yellow line. Generally the buses tend to hug the curb so it's actually safer here. Besides, the streets are so run down and there are not many cars left at all after the war. The city is a patchwork of new clean buildings and old ruined ones. Most of the new buildings are further into the heart of the city, closer to Erudite. The Abnegation volunteer agency that my mother works for is responsible for most of those renovations.

When I look at Abnegation life as an outsider. I think that it's beautiful. Everyone looks after each other and cleans up for each other without having to be asked. It's only when I try to live it myself that I have trouble. It never felt genuine. But choosing a different fraction, will mean that I have to give up my family permanently.

Just past the Abnegation sector of the city is the streets of building skeletons and broken sidewalks that I now walk through. There are places where the road had completely collapsed, revealing sewer systems and empty subways that I have to be careful to avoid.

This is where the fractionless live. They failed to complete initiation into whatever faction they chose and hence they live in poverty, doing work that no one else wants to do. They are janitors, construction workers and garbage collectors. They make fabric and operate trains and drive buses.

In return for their work they get food and clothing. But not enough of either to really live.

I see a fractionless man standing at the corner up ahead. He stares at me and I stare back.

"Excuse me" he asks "Do you have anything I can eat?"

I feel a lump in my throat, "No" I shake my head, then remember the dried apples in my bag.

"Um yes…" I repeat pulling them out.

He reaches for them, but instead of taking the bag he grabs my wrist. He smiles at me, the gap between his front teeth showing.

"My don't you have pretty eyes" he says, "It's a shame the rest of you is so plain".

My heart pounds and I tug my hand back. His grip tightens. I smell an unpleasant acid on his breath.

"You're a bit young to be walking around by yourself dear" he says.

I stop tugging and stand up straighter, I don't need to be reminded that I look young. "I'm sixteen" I say.

His lips spread and I can't tell if he's smiling or grimacing.

"Then today is a special day for you" he says.

"Let go of me" I say hearing ringing in my ears. My voice sounds clear and stern – although I don't feel like that at all. I'm really very afraid, I guess I've just learnt to hide it well.

It is almost like I'm in dauntless mode. I know what to do. I picture myself bringing my elbow back and hitting him. I hear my running footsteps as I'm prepared to act. But then he releases my wrist, takes the apples and says, "Choose wisely, little girl. Choose wisely".


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

_I search the room, can't help but stare,_

_If I told him, would he care?_

_I see his eyes, he is so strong,_

_Yet I feel the need to ask what's wrong,_

I look down at my watch, it's the only adornment abnegation wear. That's because it's practical, but it has a grey band and a glass face. If I tilt it ever so slightly I can almost see my reflection, but I don't. I think I've had enough of looking at strangers for one day. Instead I realize that I'm home five minutes early. That's not good. It's bad. Dad is going to ask questions, so I try and walk slowly.

I walk down my street. The houses are all the same size, shape and the same shade of grey cement. It's a wonder we don't get lost in this place more often really. The lawns are onion grass, there are only a few windows, and there are no flowers and only practical trees. Although the simplicity is comforting, I can't help but wonder why everything always has to be so gloomy and grey. I begin to wonder what selflessness has to do with wearing dark colours. I guess the more unhappy we look the more selfless we look, but I can't help but think that it's not true at all. Even I knew that helping others makes you feel better.

To avoid suspicion I wait for Caleb on the front steps of our house. It doesn't take long, soon I see his tall steady body walking down the street. I hear laughter too. At high school we don't tend to laugh that much to draw attention to ourselves but at home jokes are encouraged to create unity. But the sarcastic jokes that I like are not. Once again it acts as a reminder to me that I don't fit in. That I will never fit in and it makes me wonder whether or not I want to spend the rest of my life faking it just so that I can be with my family. In the end it's either our family or it's us.

"Beatrice!" says Caleb approaching me. "Are you all right?" he almost whispers to the point where I'm not sure if I have imagined him saying it or not.

"I'm fine" I say shrugging. He is with Susan and her brother Robert, and Susan is giving me a strange look. Like I'm not the person she thought I was this morning. Like she knows something that I don't.

"When the test was over I got sick. I think it was the liquid they gave us" I try to smile convincingly "but I feel better now". Caleb's eyes narrow at me, he doesn't seem convinced.

"Did you two take the bus today?" I ask to change the conversation.

"Yes" she replies, "our father had to work late, he said we needed to spend some time with ourselves alone before the test tomorrow."

"Your welcome to come over to our place later if you'd like" invites Caleb politely.

"Thank-you" says Caleb smiling.

Robert raises an eyebrow at me and I suddenly feel like I'm going to be sick again. The flirting is bad enough between Susan and Caleb, I don't think I could handle it if someone else started flirting around here too. Instead I pull Caleb's arm inside, drag him away from Susan and shut the door.

He turns to me. His dark eyes looking down at mine knowingly and frowns slightly. In that instant I can see almost an identical comparison to my father. It makes me realise how much he really does belong in abnegation. I can see him living here, learning a trade, marrying Susan and having a family of his own. It will be wonderful but I become sad. I realise that I may never see him again after tomorrow.

"Are you going to tell me the truth now?" he asks.

"The truth" I say. "The truth is difficult and complicated. The truth is that we are not supposed to discuss it and that you're not supposed to ask".

"After all that rule breaking and bending" he says, "this is the one rule you chose to follow, with something so important" he says.

"Tell me yours then" I reply, "tell me what happened to you?" I say. An uncomfortable silence fills the room and I'm suddenly very glad that I didn't tell him anything. He just looks at me. I understand why though. The choosing is very deeply intermediately private. It's like exposing all your strengths and your weaknesses to the world.

"Just don't tell our parents what happened to me?" I say almost pleadingly. It takes him a few seconds before he nods but I know that I've done the right thing. There's no point in making my parents worried if I don't even know what I'm going to choose. I just hope that tomorrow they won't be upset about my decision.

I just want to go upstairs and lie down, but my brother made breakfast, my mum made the lunches and now it's time for me to make dinner. So I walk into the kitchen and start cooking. A minute later Caleb joins me. I grit my teeth. An uncontrollable rage fills me. He helps me with everything. I know he is trying to be nice, but it almost feels as if he is doesn't think I can do anything on my own. On top of that his inborn selflessness hurts me too. He is such a natural and it just reminds me how much I don't fit in. I cook the peas on the stove, while he defrosts four pieces of chicken. It's almost like a feast tonight. We don't normally eat so much meat. But tonight is special.

The dinner is ready by the time my parent's get home. My father drops his bag at the door and kisses my head making me feel terrible. "How did the test go?" he asks.

"Fine" I reply thinking how right that tattooed lady was to say that I couldn't get candor.

"I heard there was an upset with one of the tests" my mother says. Like my father she also works for the government, but manages the cities improvement projects. She was the one to recruit the volunteers for the aptitude tests.

"Really?" says my father surprised. There is really issues with the aptitude testing.

"Yes" replies my mother "apparently there was a recording issue so one of the tests had to be reported verbally. The recipient had to go home early. Did you hear anything?"

"No" answered Caleb. He smiles at my mother and suddenly I realise that my brother could never be candor either.

We say all hold hands and say grace, giving thanks to god for food, family and friends. I also ask god to help me in making my decision tomorrow and in choosing the path that he wants of me. We don't eat until everyone is served.

"So" my mother says to my father "tell me" she takes his hand and moves a small circle over his knuckles. I can't help but stare. My parents love each other, but rarely show such affection in front of us. They taught us the power of physical contact and since then I have been very unsure of it. "Tell me what's bothering you" she says.

I stare at my plate. I've always been taught not to talk about emotions and looking up at my father it is surprising how I didn't notice how upset he looks before.

"It's been a difficult day at work" he says. "Actually it was Markus who had a difficult day, I shouldn't claim it."

Markus is my father's co-worker, Tobias's father. Both of them are political leaders. The council is supposed to be represented of fifty people. All abnegation. This is because our fraction is regarded as incorruptible with leaders selected based on impeccable character. Each fraction can speak in meeting but ultimately decisions are left up to the council. Markus is particularly powerful and respected.

The system has persisted since the beginning of the peace and has remained this way since. I think people are afraid of what might happen if the system changes. The possibility of war breaking out.

"Is this about the report that Jeanine Matthews released?" my mother asks. Caleb sits up slightly. Jeanine Matthews is Erudite's sole representative, selected based on her IQ score alone. My father complains about her often.

"Yes" replies my father "that arrogant, self-righteous…" My father stops and clears his throat. "It's that report she released attacking Markus's character" I raise my eyebrows.

"What did it say?" I ask.

"Beatrice" my brother insults me for taking at the dinner table. It makes my cheeks go red. I hate it when my brother tells me off.

"It said that his wife died due to his cruelty and abusive nature." Instantly I thought about Tobias and about what he had said while we were looking at the Dauntless and jump from the train. He seems impressed that they could look after and defend themselves and it made me think that perhaps there was some truth in Janine's story after all.

"Cruel? Markus?" my mother says, as if he needs any reminder of his loss.

"I shouldn't be surprised." Says my father, "the erudite has been attacking us with these reports for months". I shouldn't speak again but I can't stop myself.

"Why are they doing this?"

My father looks at me threateningly for having talked out of place again. "You know why" he says, "Because we have something they want. Valuing intelligence above everything leads to a lust for power and that can take men into dark and dangerous places. We should be thankful that we know better" I nod thinking about how I will definitely not be picking Erudite tomorrow. I am my father's daughter in that respect.

After dinner we don't clean up. We're sent to our rooms as we are supposed to keep to ourselves tonight and think carefully about our decision. I can't help but think that it's the opposite thing that I want to do right now. If I could just talk openly to my family perhaps they would allow me to better make up my mind. But I can't and Tori's warning haunts me every time I want to open my mouth and say something. Caleb and I climb the stairs and at the top go into our separate bedrooms.

For a split second he looks back at me. "Beatrice" he says, "We should think of our family….but we must also think of ourselves" he says with an edge to his voice. For a moment I stare at him, I've never heard him say that we should think of ourselves before. I'm so startled by his comment that I say what I'm supposed to and not what I'm really thinking.

"The test's don't have to change our choices".

"Don't they though?" he replies, smiles once and then enters his room.

I stare after him one last time. I see his unmade bed and a stack of books at his desk. He closes the door and I wish I could say something to him. I wish I could tell him what I'm really thinking. But I can't, the idea of admitting that I need his help would be too much to bear. So instead I just walk into my room and close my door. I let myself forget about my problems, tomorrow I decide not today. Today I'm just Beatrice Prior of Abnegation.


End file.
